Saturday, May 23, 2009

Still out of work, still searching for answers, still pushing on

I have decided to do the only I know how to do at this point . . . push on. As the doctors keep coming, and the answers just become more questions, I will keep pushing on. I have a sense of hope returning. I have a sense of this can - and will - be treated starting to return. I have a sense that something good and positive will change about me because of this journey (though I have no clue what). I will push on.

My support system could not be better. I have worked closely with two doctors who couldn't be better. I will push on. As I try to do my job as best I can from home, which is hard when you teach, I will push on. Sometimes I just need to say it . . . or write it.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

This just in from the big city

The big JH contacted me about the cognitive testing I did while I was there. While the results weren't able to shed any diffinitive light on anything, there were some things that came out of it. It did show that I have a mild cognitive disorder. The doctor said that it wasn't anything that was terrily troubling, which is good news. She did say I showed weakness in my processing speed and motor control of my dominate hand, among a few others. She also said the cognitive testing did not match the results she would expect from someone with conversion disorder.

Next week I have PT, Three doctor appointments, and I need to make an appointment to see a rhumeotologist (not sure if I spelled that right). The doctor from JH thinks it could be Auto-immune. We will see. I finally have started to read large print books, and that makes reading so much easier.

Monday, May 11, 2009

And the verdict is . . .

No work for at least two weeks. I am also not allowed to drive until I see my neurologist. My doctor is understandably conerned about my condition. He informed me today that I had lost some muscle mass in my left leg. That muscle must be going for some reason. He has suggested that I try an eye patch for the double vision He said covering one eye may help. It does for a little while. Now, I need to find some new ways to stay sane around the house. I can do some house work, or as much as I am able to do. I need to revise my final. I can work on slowly grading papers. Until next tim.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

The teeter-totter of recovery

It is amazig how one day I can feel better, and the next I could feel not so good. My double vision is not as good today as yesterday. I am thankful I have a decent idea where the keys are on the keyboard. You will need to forgive any misspellings and typos. I see my doctor tomorrow and talk with him about where we go from here. I am pretty positive he will say I can head back to work on Tuesday, but there is no definites anymore.

My amazing wife and I got out last night. We actually spent some time together that wasn't in a hospital room. We saw two movies. We don't get out as much as we used to, so when opprotunities like this arise, well, we jump on them. After two movies, my knees were in pretty rough shape. They were very stiff and sore.

It's mother's day, and instead of taking my mom out (which I can't because I can't drive), she is coming over so we can order food.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

The waiting game

The waiting game to see if I get cleared to drive is on. I see my doctor on Monday, and I am not sure what he is going to say. I have become such a frequent visitor to my doctor's office that I feel like Norm from Cheers. I really like my doctor, and I have seen him so much he seems like someone who lives right next door to me. I hate taking up so much of my doctor's time, but what can I do?

I got in the driver's seat of my car ( I didn't actually drive; I can't do that until . . . well, you know the deal) and tried the pedals. My ankle was a little sore, and I wasn 't necessarily moving with the same speed that I usually move with. My vision was okay, but I did have some minor (very minor) double vision while sitting behind the wheel.

I am still trying to figure out what is going to happen with work. I am actually about to have my wife drive me out to my school so I can get some work to bring home. I can input grades, maybe read a paper or two, and work on revising the final exam. All of these things I was going to start when I returned to school last Monday, but you know what they say . . . best laid plans and all.

I am hoping I can get back to school this coming week. I miss my job and the students. They are in the final stretch and I just want to help them get across the line and finish. We will see what happens from here.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Doctor Me

I made a big decision today; I am going to take the bull by the horns and start researching things on my own. I purchased a few books from and one from Borders to start learning more about the various parts of thi little medical mystery. I hope to achieve my Medical degree from University of Borders and the satilite campus of U. I hope to do my residency at the school of House, located on the campus of FOX University.

Physician heal thyself, right? I have started to embrace that this may not be as easy to fix as I first thought. I am now ready to take hold of the fact this could be two different conditions working together. I hope to get an appointment with a specialist on Lyme Disease, and I hope to see some other doctors as well. I have read stories/ histories of people who have suffered for years without knowing what was bothering them! Let the good times roll.

Feel the burn

Three days out of the hospital and I am slowly starting to have a decrease in the double vision. As for the other problems, like the headaches and the weakness, that may be a slightly longer road. I had PT for the first time yesterday. Read the title of this entry and you will get an idea of how I feel today. There is quite a bit of work to do on that front.

I have made appointments with doctors for the next few weeks, PT appointments, and all sorts of other appointments that deal with my condition. The one thing that they wanted me to check with was a Lyme disease specialist. I called one, but she didn't take insurance and it cost a bloody fortune. Check that one off my list. I have a list of other names to contact.

It just blows my mind how expensive it is to be sick. Thank goodness I have health insurance, because if I didn't . . . Whoa! But these are all the trials and tribulations that I have to face with my family. I know this will all get better . . . at some point. I am holdig on to hope that we will find the right combination of treatments.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

And we end just as we started

I haven't posted in a couple of days due to the fact that I have been in the hospital . . . again. I was released from HUP last night. I spent two days in the hospital with no new news. No news is good news, right? Well, at this point some news might be better news. My right side has loss some of its strength and my double vision got worse. My MRI was, of course, clean as a whistle. So, here I am at home. We are winding down the school year, and I am finishing the same way that I started it. At home. The good news is I will be back at work next week.

I look forward to returning to work, and I look forward to trying to get some of my life back again. Until next time, my eyes have done all they can.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

The good, the bad, and the thankful

Every streak needs to have an end. I have had some pretty okay days recently. I had some pain and plenty of weakness, but my head was in pretty good shape. Well, that streak ended this weekend. Saturday was a rough day, and Sunday is no better. My dizziness is worse this past two days, and today I woke with a killer headache. I feel pretty lousy today. That being said, I am still thankful.

A person I know was recently injured. Injured pretty bad on top of that. It made me realize that even with all the stuff I have going on, there are issues worse than mine. I am thankful for what I DO have going for me. As I stated in a previous post, I count my blessings. I add to that list the fact that I still do have okay days. I don't know what the future holds, but I still have the hope that the streak will come back.