Wednesday, July 1, 2009

the topsy turvey life I lead

Today is a good day! I know one day is not a huge victory, but I am taking things day by day. I never know when I will have a good day or a bad day. I just roll with the punches and keep getting up. I am Rocky who refuses to stay down (even when Mickey was urging him to stay down). I am working hard at trying to get my new classroom ready for the next year, and it is made more difficult with the fact I can only do so much at a time.

My family has been a terrific support group. They are all a husband, father, and son could possibly want. That's it for today. It's funny that when the days are good the posts are shorter.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

any word is the hardest word.

Hello friends. After some urging from some of dear friends, I am updating my blog. It has been a while since my last entry. My life continues to be an up and down rollercoaster. As I write, I am going through one of the toughest relapses yet. Not only is my speech impared, but it is difficult to speak at all! I am glad this is written and not oral. I am sure I don't need to express to people how frustrating it is to struggle with the ability to speak. Those of you who know me know it is something I liked to do.

Add this to the list of issues that I have been going through, and you get the portrait of one very strange person. I have more doctor appoinments lined up. I have more testing to schedule. I have more faith to put into this.

On another note, I wanted to say two things about Michael Jackson. The first thing is that I feel we was one of the most gifted performers we will ever see. He touched millions with his talents and skills, even if he was a tad (or rather off his rocker) strange. The second thing is . . . enough already. By watching the news and following news websites, I think Michael was honored enough within the first 24 hours of the discovery. Presidents don't get this much coverage when they die. I saw that had the Michael Jackson story as their lead story for two days. I'm sorry, but aren't there bigger issues in the world? I feel for his family, his children, and those who loved him, but shouldn't we start to focus on the other issues going on. I read that a reporter asked the White House Press Secretary why Obama didn't make an official statement about Michael's passing sooner. I think . . . and I am just taking a shot in the dark here . . . President Obama has bigger issues on his plate.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Still out of work, still searching for answers, still pushing on

I have decided to do the only I know how to do at this point . . . push on. As the doctors keep coming, and the answers just become more questions, I will keep pushing on. I have a sense of hope returning. I have a sense of this can - and will - be treated starting to return. I have a sense that something good and positive will change about me because of this journey (though I have no clue what). I will push on.

My support system could not be better. I have worked closely with two doctors who couldn't be better. I will push on. As I try to do my job as best I can from home, which is hard when you teach, I will push on. Sometimes I just need to say it . . . or write it.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

This just in from the big city

The big JH contacted me about the cognitive testing I did while I was there. While the results weren't able to shed any diffinitive light on anything, there were some things that came out of it. It did show that I have a mild cognitive disorder. The doctor said that it wasn't anything that was terrily troubling, which is good news. She did say I showed weakness in my processing speed and motor control of my dominate hand, among a few others. She also said the cognitive testing did not match the results she would expect from someone with conversion disorder.

Next week I have PT, Three doctor appointments, and I need to make an appointment to see a rhumeotologist (not sure if I spelled that right). The doctor from JH thinks it could be Auto-immune. We will see. I finally have started to read large print books, and that makes reading so much easier.

Monday, May 11, 2009

And the verdict is . . .

No work for at least two weeks. I am also not allowed to drive until I see my neurologist. My doctor is understandably conerned about my condition. He informed me today that I had lost some muscle mass in my left leg. That muscle must be going for some reason. He has suggested that I try an eye patch for the double vision He said covering one eye may help. It does for a little while. Now, I need to find some new ways to stay sane around the house. I can do some house work, or as much as I am able to do. I need to revise my final. I can work on slowly grading papers. Until next tim.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

The teeter-totter of recovery

It is amazig how one day I can feel better, and the next I could feel not so good. My double vision is not as good today as yesterday. I am thankful I have a decent idea where the keys are on the keyboard. You will need to forgive any misspellings and typos. I see my doctor tomorrow and talk with him about where we go from here. I am pretty positive he will say I can head back to work on Tuesday, but there is no definites anymore.

My amazing wife and I got out last night. We actually spent some time together that wasn't in a hospital room. We saw two movies. We don't get out as much as we used to, so when opprotunities like this arise, well, we jump on them. After two movies, my knees were in pretty rough shape. They were very stiff and sore.

It's mother's day, and instead of taking my mom out (which I can't because I can't drive), she is coming over so we can order food.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

The waiting game

The waiting game to see if I get cleared to drive is on. I see my doctor on Monday, and I am not sure what he is going to say. I have become such a frequent visitor to my doctor's office that I feel like Norm from Cheers. I really like my doctor, and I have seen him so much he seems like someone who lives right next door to me. I hate taking up so much of my doctor's time, but what can I do?

I got in the driver's seat of my car ( I didn't actually drive; I can't do that until . . . well, you know the deal) and tried the pedals. My ankle was a little sore, and I wasn 't necessarily moving with the same speed that I usually move with. My vision was okay, but I did have some minor (very minor) double vision while sitting behind the wheel.

I am still trying to figure out what is going to happen with work. I am actually about to have my wife drive me out to my school so I can get some work to bring home. I can input grades, maybe read a paper or two, and work on revising the final exam. All of these things I was going to start when I returned to school last Monday, but you know what they say . . . best laid plans and all.

I am hoping I can get back to school this coming week. I miss my job and the students. They are in the final stretch and I just want to help them get across the line and finish. We will see what happens from here.