Doctor Me

I made a big decision today; I am going to take the bull by the horns and start researching things on my own. I purchased a few books from Amazon.com and one from Borders to start learning more about the various parts of thi little medical mystery. I hope to achieve my Medical degree from University of Borders and the satilite campus of Amazon.com U. I hope to do my residency at the school of House, located on the campus of FOX University.

Physician heal thyself, right? I have started to embrace that this may not be as easy to fix as I first thought. I am now ready to take hold of the fact this could be two different conditions working together. I hope to get an appointment with a specialist on Lyme Disease, and I hope to see some other doctors as well. I have read stories/ histories of people who have suffered for years without knowing what was bothering them! Let the good times roll.

Feel the burn

Three days out of the hospital and I am slowly starting to have a decrease in the double vision. As for the other problems, like the headaches and the weakness, that may be a slightly longer road. I had PT for the first time yesterday. Read the title of this entry and you will get an idea of how I feel today. There is quite a bit of work to do on that front.

I have made appointments with doctors for the next few weeks, PT appointments, and all sorts of other appointments that deal with my condition. The one thing that they wanted me to check with was a Lyme disease specialist. I called one, but she didn't take insurance and it cost a bloody fortune. Check that one off my list. I have a list of other names to contact.

It just blows my mind how expensive it is to be sick. Thank goodness I have health insurance, because if I didn't . . . Whoa! But these are all the trials and tribulations that I have to face with my family. I know this will all get better . . . at some point. I am holdig on to hope that we will find the right combination of treatments.

And we end just as we started

I haven't posted in a couple of days due to the fact that I have been in the hospital . . . again. I was released from HUP last night. I spent two days in the hospital with no new news. No news is good news, right? Well, at this point some news might be better news. My right side has loss some of its strength and my double vision got worse. My MRI was, of course, clean as a whistle. So, here I am at home. We are winding down the school year, and I am finishing the same way that I started it. At home. The good news is I will be back at work next week.

I look forward to returning to work, and I look forward to trying to get some of my life back again. Until next time, my eyes have done all they can.

The good, the bad, and the thankful

Every streak needs to have an end. I have had some pretty okay days recently. I had some pain and plenty of weakness, but my head was in pretty good shape. Well, that streak ended this weekend. Saturday was a rough day, and Sunday is no better. My dizziness is worse this past two days, and today I woke with a killer headache. I feel pretty lousy today. That being said, I am still thankful.

A person I know was recently injured. Injured pretty bad on top of that. It made me realize that even with all the stuff I have going on, there are issues worse than mine. I am thankful for what I DO have going for me. As I stated in a previous post, I count my blessings. I add to that list the fact that I still do have okay days. I don't know what the future holds, but I still have the hope that the streak will come back.

Count your blessings

One of the things that has come to light during the past nine, almost ten months, is that I have a lot going for me. I was listening to the chorus of my high school rehearse, and they are singing my wedding song in the concert. It brought me back to a place when my body was fully functioning and I was . . . younger. So, here is a brief counting of my blessings:

1. I have a wife that I love more than any words can say. She is my rock. If it weren't for her, I would be some boat just floating in the middle of a hurricane (and I am talking "Perfect Storm" hurricane here).

2. I have three amazing children. They are gifts that brighten my mood on a daily basis. They are blessings from the heavens.

3. I have two amazing parents who support me and respect what I do. I tell my students that your parents will always be your parents, and I happened to get lucky with the pair that I got.

4. I have incredible in-laws (and that includes my sister-in-law and brother-in-law). They treat me like part of their family without hesitation. I know some people are not so lucky.

5. I love to teach. My job is a passion. There are plenty of people who roll out of bed, into their car, and drive for a countless number of miles and hate what they do. I love what I do. My students are not always perfect (of course nobody is). I can't even say that I never have a bad day with them, but they are good people deep down. Many of them are struggling to find how they are going to live their lives once they leave the safety of this "prison" as they call it. For a prison, there are many who seem to want to stick around. I just hope I can play a small part in their journey.

6. I have amazing friends. One of my closest friends sent me an email today wishing me a happy birthday and just saying some remarkable things. This friend is no stranger to struggles and health problems - Her family is going through quite a fair number of them now - but she still tried to make ME feel better.

7. I find new ways to make the day work for me. I am very thankful that I can find ways to work with the pain, with the struggles, with the memory and concentration issues.

I never know what the next day will bring. Some of the days that are ahead will be rosy, and there will be days that I will have more thorns than rose. I know this. I am trying to embrace this. The seven things above (which is only portion of a list I could generate) help me make my journey in the new world in which I am exploring.

A day without the cane

I decided today would be a good day to test my walking without the cane. There is probably no really good day to give it a shot, but the sun was out and it felt like a steam bath in my class, so why not. The good news is I made it until 2:00 PM without the cane (just some limping). Knowing there is good news, most people assume that there may be bad news as well. At 2:00 PM my knees and legs decided to weigh in on my little experiement. They weren't real happy. Now I am sitting and giving my legs the rest they need (and were demanding. If they go on strike, then I have some serious issues.).

I took my tired legs to see my family doctor today to fill him in on my trip to the big JH. I need to tell you how wonderful this doctor is. He has managed this case and kept pounding at things like it was his job (wait -- it is his job. My point is he was really, really, really, really excellent.). He gave me a script for PT, so I am going back to the balance activities, hand bikes, the crazy leg lifts and arm stretches, and the healing power of hard work.

They don't make me like they used to

So, one of the hardest things to deal with is how the things that were once a piece of cake, now seem like a chore. I just went with the family to the carnival, but it felt like a trek of a thousand ages. It's times like this that I just want to scream. Oh well, every day can't be perfect (I would just like one every three weeks or so).